Same Anxiety Symptoms … Different Reactions? (Podcast Ep 239)

Hey there, I’m Drew and you are
listening to the anxious truth. The Anxious Truth is the podcast
that covers all things anxiety, anxiety disorders, and anxiety
recovery. So if you’re struggling with things like
panic attacks, health anxiety, OCD, or agoraphobia, this is the
place for you. Lately, we’ve been talking about anxiety
symptoms common fears, and anxiety disorders. Today I
want to talk about how two people can have the very same
experiences or the very same symptoms, but very different
reactions and very different interpretations. So let’s go Hello, everybody, welcome back
to the anxious truth. This is podcast episode number 239. We
are recording early in the morning on Christmas Eve of
2022. So if you are listening in the future, I hope Christmas
2022 was good for you. Anyway, I am Drew Linsalata, creator and
host of the anxious truth. Thank you so much for being here
with me. Today, we’re going to talk about the very wide
range of reactions and interpretations that people can
have to the very same symptoms and experiences of anxiety.
Lately, we’ve been talking about symptoms, we’ve been talking
about common fears.

And we’ve been sort of talking about what
anxiety feels like, which is sort of a new topic for me,
believe it or not, even after 230 Something podcast episodes.
But in talking about this sort of thing. In the last couple of
weeks, I’ve gotten some amazing feedback that shines
some light on the fact that people can have the very same
symptoms or the very same fears and experiences, yet interpret
them very differently and react to them very differently. I
think it’s a great topic. We’re not going to go for too long.
Today I am recording on Christmas Eve. But I wanted to
make sure there was a podcast in the week between Christmas and
New Year’s, a lot of people take a break, and have a little extra
time to listen, maybe learn a little bit, maybe get something
out of it.

So I wanted to put something out.
And I appreciate you guys for having supported the podcast the
way you have in 2022. This podcast has gotten larger this
year. And I appreciate that, at least if the metrics are to be
believed that has gotten larger, and I appreciate your support.
So I wanted to make sure we had an episode for this week. And
that’s what we’re going to talk about today.

Before we do I just want
to remind you that the anxious truth is more than just this
podcast episode or this YouTube channel. All of the things that
I have an offer for you on my website at the anxious
truth.com There’s a bunch of free social media content,
there are all the rest of the podcast episodes. There’s books
that I’ve written, there’s a webinar I do every month with
Joanna is hardest on distress tolerance, there’s a whole bunch
of good stuff there.

So I would urge you to head on over to my
website at the anxious truth.com If you’re not following me on
all the socials, you should do that. Take advantage of all the
resources and thank you so much for your support. I appreciate
it, whatever that looks like. So let’s get into this. What
prompted this was I had posted about depersonalization and
derealization on tick tock So believe it or not, in the last
two months, it was strongly suggested, hey, you should
make it read a tick tock. Like I’ll give this a shot. So I
started posting content on Tick tock and as of this morning,
this is Christmas Eve of 2022. The video that I did about DP
Dr. depersonalization and derealization now has 2.7
million views. I am blown away by that
blown away.

I have never actually done a piece of
content that ever went viral. And this one did 2.7
million views on Tik Tok. So if you’ve found me on Tiktok thank
you welcome. Anyway, with 2.7 million views. There’s also I
think we’re approaching almost 10,000 comments, there are at
least 8000 comments on that video now. And I can’t watch
them all. I cannot even respond to them all. I’ve done
as many as I could. But one of the things that I found amazing
about my discussion of depersonalization derealization,
which so many of you will say is the scariest symptom, the
hardest symptom to deal with. I was surprised by the number of
people in the comments on my TikTok post who said they liked
it. Interesting. So people understood what it was. And I
was amazed at the number of people who had never heard it,
given a label. So they were happy to hear that, oh, it has a
name, and other people have this. So that’s the beauty of this
sort of community is that there were so many people that saw
that video and said, Oh my God, I didn’t know what it was
called.

And I didn’t know that other people had it. But I was
amazed that the number of people who recognize it as part of
anxiety, they they they do deal with anxiety in various ways. It
is a bit of a problem, but they see DP Dr. As a
pleasant sensation. How amazing is that? Right? I’m not saying
they’re wrong. They’re certainly not strange or anything like
that. But what an illustration, right of the fact that these
folks can take that particular symptom which so many people
feel is absolutely like no, I can’t possibly allow the symptom
to be there. And they will see it as a break. So surprisingly,
many many people look at D PDR. Is the time when they can feel a
little bit of peace or they get a break from themselves from
their thinking and their anxiety.

Interesting right? Some
people say that they they hope that it happens. Now
some people, I think, because so many people did watch the video,
so many people rolled in on the gpdr thing and did mention that
it’s from the comments, I’m guessing that they don’t have
anxiety problems. But many people who do at that large
number, it was surprising to see that if I was going to put a
percentage and this is tick-tocked comments, there’s nothing
scientific about this, but probably close to 10% of the
comments in that thread. Were about how people liked
it. They liked that feeling. Some people said that
they not only liked the feeling, but sometimes they experimented,
you know recreationally with different substances to try to
create it. It’s a break for them. It’s a sense of peace or
calm. So interesting, right? So it led me to say, and that led
me to think about the fact that while so many of us can
experience the very same symptoms and sensations and have
the same core fears.

We talked about that last week, the fear of
death or incapacitation fear of losing control, fear of
embarrassment or shame. We have these main themes that all of
our symptoms sensations and scary thoughts tend to revolve
around but the the way we interpret and react to each one
of those individual symptoms, sensations or thoughts can
vary very widely. Which is interesting to me. So I’ll
talk about a few others of these again, I’m not gonna go too long
today, but it’s just something to chew on,, and this little sort
of break week.

So some people like the feeling of
depersonalization and derealization. And I’m guessing
many of you listening would be like holy cow, I can’t even
believe that the thing It surprised me did. Let’s
talk about another common thing because I also posted about this
on TikTok and also on Instagram if you follow me on Instagram,
the content is pretty much the same. But I posted about the
fear of being alone, which sometimes we call mana phobia.
So people who have panic attacks and agoraphobia,
especially some people who have harmful OCD subtypes, wind up in a
situation where they are afraid to be alone. So usually, that
means being left alone at home. Often it means being left alone at home with
with young children or with pets or whatever.

There’s that fear
that they may lose control, and then nobody will be there to
either save them or stop them from doing something terrible,
right? And that’s a really common fear also. But what was
amazing to me, this I already knew, but again, when people
came into the comment section to hear the number of people sort
of representing for oh, no, I’m not afraid of that.

I want to be
alone. Right? So if for many, many people they don’t, they’re
not afraid to be alone, they would rather be alone. So while
I think it’s probably fair to say that the majority of people
who deal with anxiety, wind up wanting to have people around
them, when they’re in that bit of anxiety, crisis mode,
intrusive thoughts or ramped-up, symptoms ramped up, maybe you’re
panicking, you’re in a spiral, you want your safe people around
you.

That’s why we talked so much about safe people, you
think you need to be saved, you think somebody needs to protect
you against your thoughts. But for other people, I don’t know
if I was going to take a guess, again, totally unscientific.
Based only on social media interactions over the years, I
bet that 35% of people in our community would prefer to be
alone, that number might be higher. And if you’re one of
those people, and you want to represent the I’d rather be
alone crowd, which is fine. If you in the Facebook
group mentioned it write me on Instagram or TikTok, or
wherever. And we can talk about that. But interesting to see how
we can be in the same sort of state. So yes, I have panic
disorder. Oh, and I have panic disorder, two people with panic
disorder, that one is terrified to be left alone. The other one
wants nothing more than to be left alone because that’s
better for them.

Interesting write another one that I find
interesting when we have these discussions. Now this is
especially true for people with agoraphobia. So if you’re phobic
and listening, you’re struggling to probably get out of the house
even though Agoraphobia is more than just can’t leave the house.
That’s what people think but one of my old podcast episodes
if you just go to the anxious truth.com and search for a Gora
phobia, you’ll see an episode I did a year and a half ago. That
explains actually what Agoraphobia is and how it
develops. But you would think that it means that people with
anxiety have a hard time leaving the house and it’s true. If
you’re agoraphobic, that becomes the way it manifests. People
with panic disorder often have a hard time leaving the house
leaving the house. But what’s also interesting is that people
with the same issues, there are people that have panic disorder,
they’re afraid to come home, they would rather be out.

So
people you know ask about that all the time. This is a question
you see all the time. Like is this weird? Do I have reverse
agoraphobia? People will talk about terms like that. And while
I don’t know if it has a name, but I don’t think we call it
reverse agoraphobia. But it starts to look like that. Right?
So consider the number of people in our community that you know
that have a hard time leaving their safe spaces, whether it be
that home or whatever. You know, they want to be in the safe
space in the cocoon in the bubble, because they’re they
feel like they’re their sensations, their thoughts, the
anxiety, the panic is somehow more manageable or they’re safer
from it there.

But other people have a hard time they don’t have
a bubble. Their bubble is the whole rest of the world. And
for those folks, the issue is if they come home or whatever, you
know, home base is, at the end of the day, or they have a
weekend where they have not much going on, then they’re sitting
there idle, and they feel the anxiety. So those people develop
a coping strategy that says, I have to be out, I gotta be on the
move, we gotta be socializing, gotta be doing, you gotta be
busy. The minute I’m not busy, then I’m left with my thoughts
and sensations, and they don’t like that. So it’s not always
that people are afraid to leave their homes, some people are
afraid to come back home and take a break and have that idle
time. Alright, so another interesting thing to think
about, and we’ll tie this together in a few minutes, I
promise.

But the other one that I wanted to bring up is that so
many people struggle in the morning, right? So warning
anxiety, what do you do about that sense of dread in the
morning, when you wake up and it’s there, what do I do about it, I
get that it’s super common. But remember that there’s also a
fair number of people. And this might be 5050, to be honest with
you, I’m gonna guess again, I’m guessing based just on social
media content, I’m not that scientific here. So you know,
don’t quote this, this isn’t research. But for me, in my
experience with a large number of people over the years, this
one’s probably closer to 5050. So you might struggle waking up
in the morning, and the minute you wake up, you have that sense
of dread Doom, your anxiety kicks in right away. Right away,
you’re scanning, checking, how do I feel? How am I doing how’s
this day gonna be? Oh, my God, I gotta do it again. Whereas other
people feel really good in the morning, or better in the
morning, I should say, maybe not good.

And then they get
more anxious as the day draws to a close. Again, interesting to
think about it, you know, you might be in the same diagnostic class
to people with panic disorder to people with OCD to people with
health, anxiety, whatever. And one person is kind of paralyzed
by it in the morning, whereas the other person is sort of
paralyzed by it as the afternoon ends, and especially a lot of
people in the winter, in the northern hemisphere, we’re in
the winter right now. And it’s freezing. By the way, here in
New York, today, it is freezing. But especially this
time of year, when the days are short, it gets dark earlier,
people struggle with late afternoon, and evening nights, some
people struggle more actually overnight, they start to
associate sleep with panic and anxiety and that sort of stuff.
So the same, people might be diagnosed meet the
criteria to be diagnosed with the same anxiety disorder,
but it is expressed in a very different way.

Whereas one
person is terrified of the morning, the other person is
terrified of the evening, evening. So again, something to
think about why what this really tells us when you look at
it. So two people can experience the same physical sensations,
the same scary thoughts, the same, you know, sensations, all
of those things, the same sense of fear, organized around the
same themes that we talked about last week in Episode 238. But it
will be expressed differently. And they will react to it
interpreted a different way.

Therefore they will tend to
modify their lifestyle, which is sort of the hallmark of the
disordered state as we begin to build our life around avoiding
feeling what we don’t want to feel. And they will modify their
lifestyles differently. So they’ll have a different set of
restrictions or conditions on their okayness. And I think that
also speaks volumes. Number one, it tells you once again, and I
think the theme over the last few episodes of the podcast, as
you know, you’re not alone. This is a common lived shared
experience, in a very large number of people who have these
particular issues. Right, we know that you know, anxiety and
depression are the most common mental health issues faced in
the Western world, by far. So many people are impacted by this
every year, they’re very common issues for sure. So you’re
not alone in where you are. And the experiences
when we look at a large number of people are so very similar,
right, we share the same themes in our fear, we share the same
thoughts, we share the same scary sensations there’s, and we
share a lot of different things.

Yet, even within that, you can
see how the interpretations can vary. And that tells us
not only we’re not alone, we’re living a shared experience and a
large community of people. But it also really shines a light on
the fact that the way we react to these things means
everything. It’s so important and it’s a thing you hear me
drone on and on about forever. If you’ve listened to the
podcast for any length of time, yeah, we hear you drew reaction,
new relation with anxiety, we get it. But that’s a really good
illustration, though in the end. Like why, if you are terrified,
for instance, of being alone when you panic, but someone else
wants to be alone with panic?

What does that tell you about
your fear of needing to be saved? And conversely, for the
person who wants to be alone when they panic? What does that
tell you about their fear of having people around them? Now I
understand people like might say, Yeah, but then I’d be
embarrassed. Okay, that’s an outcome. That’s correct. But it
illustrates how the very same threat is interpreted
so differently. So is the state itself the threat? How could it
be if people with the same condition wind up interpreting
it in very different ways, and taking very opposite approaches
and different modifications and conditions in their lives? If you
think about that, the same way that like, if you’re in my
Facebook group, you’re also tired of hearing me say things
like, Hey, I know that you’re really afraid of your breathing.
But go look at the 50 people over there, they’re afraid of
being dizzy.

So your breathing isn’t special. You know, I say
that stuff all the time. And when you look at this, you
think, oh, maybe there’s something to that. So it’s not
the breathing, it’s not the heart. It’s not the nausea. It’s
not the thoughts. It’s not the alone. It’s not a shame. It’s
the it’s the feeling that we can’t handle the interpretation.
I can’t handle this. It makes you interpret it as, I
can’t handle it, because XYZ, whereas another person says I
can’t handle it, because ABC, and they react differently, and
relate differently to him.

But you both wind up relating in
an avoidant kind of way in a phobic, avoidant kind of way.
And so in the end, it poses the same problem in terms of
restrictions and lifestyle problems. But, you know, XYZ
interpretation and reaction versus ABC tells you that, oh,
it’s probably not this, the state itself doesn’t seem to
represent the danger. I think it does, or my group of people
think it does because those groups of people think it
represents a completely different danger. And they react
accordingly to that. So in a way, when you look at these
patterns, you can, you know, you chew on it, and you
say, Okay, I guess that’s true, how could it be that half of us
in the room are certainly sure that we need to be rescued, and
the other half are 100% certain that they don’t need or want to
be rescued. So what does that tell us? Is the state itself the
danger? Or is it what we think about it? You know, chew on that, I think
it’s important.

So different reactions, and different
interpretations of the same anxiety-based experiences, fears, and symptoms. The fact that people enjoy the sensation of D
PDR. is foreign to me because it’s not that was the thing that
I hated the feeling. Still hate it, if it happens to me now still
hated, do not like it do not want it. So the fact that some
people can welcome that was an eye-opener for me.
And I think it led to today’s discussion, which hopefully, you
know, makes sense for you, it might ring a bell and might give
you something else to think about.

And I always go down
the road. And you listen to podcasts like this one, or you
read books, like the ones that I write, or other people produce
podcasts that sound like mine. It gives us an opportunity
sometimes to look through the eyes of others. And that’s
important sometimes. So when I bring up things like, go
talk to the guy with breathing problems when you’re sure that
your stomach is the worst thing in the world. In this situation,
if you aren’t terrified to feel gpdr Go talk to the person that
likes it. If you’re terrified to be alone, go talk
to the person who wants to be alone. If you’re terrified of
the morning, go talk to the person who likes the morning and
is terrified of the evening. And ask yourself, well, what does
that tell me? What does it tell me? Not because any of this is
going to cure you. It’s not going to banish your anxiety.
These are not epiphany lightbulb moments that somehow make your
anxiety disorder magically disappear, and you’ll be fine
for the rest of your life. It’s not I wish it was but it’s not
that.

But when we have these sorts of insights, and we get to
act as a community and start to maybe look at things through the
eyes of other people and see what they’re doing versus what
we’re doing. Sometimes it helps inform those actions it it
encourages inspires us, eight emboldens us to do the scary
things and the difficult things that we have to do to get
better. And that’s why I like to bring stuff like this up. It was
just interesting to me, I thought it was worth discussing.
And so here we are at the end of episode 239 talking about how we
can have the same conditions, the same disorders, the same
diagnosis experience the same thing, yet act and react and
interpret very different ways. So consider that a little bit to
use one of my old and most favorite phrases. So there you
go. That is episode 239. All done. Hopefully, it has been
helpful, educational, informative, inspirational,
or whatever. And you know the episode is over because music
that is as always at the end of every podcast episode afterglow
by my friend Ben Drake, who wrote the song, at least in part
inspired by this podcast, and lets me use it as his theme
music.

So if you’d like to support Ben or know more about
him, go to his website at Hendrick music.com. He’s a good
dude. If you are listening to this podcast, on Apple,
podcasts, Spotify, or some platform that lets you leave a
rating and a review, have about five stars. And if you
dig the podcast, take a second and write a few sentences and
review it because it helps other people find the podcast. We grow
the community we help more people and that’s really why I
do this in the end. And if you’re watching on YouTube, but
you certainly can be even if there’s no video this week,
subscribe to the channel, like the video hit the notification
bell.

So you know when I upload new episodes, leave a comment.
I’d love to interact with you guys on YouTube, even if I’m
slow to get there sometimes. So thank you so much for coming by
this week. I hope it’s been helpful. I appreciate your
support. I appreciate your time. I’m, I hope that 2023 is going
to be a better year for you guys. Maybe you’re thinking
that this is going to be my year to recover. Maybe that’s
what we’ll talk about next week. I’m not sure I haven’t figured
that out but it will be the first episode of 2023. We’ll see
what we do there. So there you go. I hope you’re enjoying your
break.

If you have one. I will see you next week. And remember
as always, this is the way no in the city you live in. No,
looking back at dwelling on the past, you know, you’ll never get
another chance. So you go and live your life under pressure.

ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ™ ꜱʏꜱᴛᴇᴍ – ᴄᴜʀᴇ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴀʟʟʏ $37.⁰⁰ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇꜱᴛʀᴏʏ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ™ ᴛʀᴇᴀᴛᴍᴇɴᴛ ᴘʟᴀɴ ̶$̶7̶4̶ $37.⁰⁰ ᴄʙᴛ ᴡᴏʀᴋʙᴏᴏᴋ ᴀɴᴅ ᴛᴏᴏʟꜱ ̶$̶6̶7̶ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ɢᴏᴀʟ ꜱᴇᴛᴛɪɴɢ ᴡᴏʀᴋꜱʜᴏᴘ ̶$̶2̶9̶ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ᴛʜᴇ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ-ꜰʀᴇᴇ ᴍᴇᴅɪᴛᴇʀʀᴀɴᴇᴀɴ ᴅɪᴇᴛ ̶$̶3̶7̶ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ʟɪꜰᴇᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴜᴘᴅᴀᴛᴇꜱ ̶$̶1̶4̶7̶ ꜰʀᴇᴇ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴅᴇᴘʀᴇꜱꜱɪᴏɴ ʜᴀꜱ ʙᴇᴇɴ ɪɴ ᴄᴏɴᴛʀᴏʟ ʟᴏɴɢ ᴇɴᴏᴜɢʜ. ɪᴛ’ꜱ ᴛɪᴍᴇ ᴛᴏ ꜰɪɢʜᴛ ʙᴀᴄᴋ ʟᴇᴛ’ꜱ ɢᴇᴛ ꜱᴛᴀʀᴛᴇᴅ ➫ “ᴛʜɪꜱ ᴅɪᴅɴ’ᴛ ᴊᴜꜱᴛ ᴄʜᴀɴɢᴇ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ, ɪᴛ ꜱᴀᴠᴇᴅ ᴍʏ ʟɪꜰᴇ.” “ᵈᵉᵖʳᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿ ʰᵃᵈ ˢᵘᶜʰ ᵃ ˢᵗʳᵃⁿᵍˡᵉʰᵒˡᵈ ᵒᵛᵉʳ ᵐʸ ᵐᶦⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶦ ʷᵃˢ ᵈʳᶦᵛᵉⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵃᵗᵗᵉᵐᵖᵗ ˢᵘᶦᶜᶦᵈᵉ ᶠᵒᵘʳ ᵗᶦᵐᵉˢ. ᵈᵉˢᵗʳᵒʸ ᵈᵉᵖʳᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿ ʰᵉˡᵖᵉᵈ ᵐᵉ ᵍᵉᵗ ᵇᵉʸᵒⁿᵈ ᵗʰᵉ ᵈᵉᵖʳᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿ ˢʸᵐᵖᵗᵒᵐˢ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ʷᵉʳᵉ ʰᵒˡᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵐᵉ ʰᵒˢᵗᵃᵍᵉ. ᵗᵒᵈᵃʸ, ᶦ’ᵐ ᵗᵉᵃᶜʰᶦⁿᵍ ᵒⁿˡᶦⁿᵉ ʸᵒᵍᵃ ᶜˡᵃˢˢᵉˢ, ᵇᵘᶦˡᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵃ ᵍᵃʳᵈᵉⁿ ᶦⁿ ᵐʸ ᵇᵃᶜᵏʸᵃʳᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ˢᵖᵉⁿᵈᶦⁿᵍ ᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ˡᵃᵏᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰ ᵐʸ ᵈᵒᵍ, ᵉᵈᵈᶦᵉ. ʰᵃᵛᶦⁿᵍ ᵐʸ ᵈᵉᵖʳᵉˢˢᶦᵒⁿ ˢʸᵐᵖᵗᵒᵐˢ ᵉᵛᵃᵖᵒʳᵃᵗᵉ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃ ˡᶦᶠᵉᵗᶦᵐᵉ ᵒᶠ ˢᵗʳᵘᵍᵍˡᵉ ʰᵃˢ ᵇᵉᵉⁿ ᵃᵐᵃᶻᶦⁿᵍ.” ᴇʟᴇɴ ʀ. ᴍɪᴄʜɪɢᴀɴ, ᴜꜱᴀ