10 Signs That You May Have A Narcissistic Mother
(mellow music) [Presenter] Hey Psych2Goers. Before we begin, we would
like to thank you all for the love and support
that you’ve given us. Sharing and liking our videos
helps us fulfill our mission to make psychology more
accessible to everyone. And we’re so grateful for that. Now let’s continue. What is the relationship between
you and your mother like? Perhaps you’ve noticed that
something is just not right in your relationship,
but you have no idea why.
And because of that,
you’ve questioned yourself and wondered whether it was
something you were doing or if it was something she’s
doing, sound familiar? Children of narcissistic parents go through their lives
feeling confused and lost. And in search of the love
they never received from home, they expect their mothers
to nurture and support them. But when they’re dealing
with narcissistic mothers they aren’t given the love and support that healthy parents should provide. Narcissism is one of the buzzwords used a lot in mental health,
literature, and social media. So how do we know our
mothers are narcissistic or simply just being mothers? In this video, we’ll
be discussing 10 signs, you may have a narcissistic mother. As a disclaimer, this video is purely
for educational purposes and is not designed to diagnose or suggest that your
mother is a narcissist because you recognized some
of the signs in this video. If you feel that your mother is displaying narcissistic traits, and you feel that you
can’t talk to her about it, we suggest confiding in somebody you trust or speaking to a person
in a professional capacity such as a GP or a mental
health professional.
Let’s begin. Number one, she sees her
children as her trophies or her pawn. Ever feel like your achievements are used by your mother to show off
her status and her ability? A narcissistic mother sees her child as an extension of herself. The sad truth is, the only thing narcissistic
mothers care about is how others see them
through their children. So when her child makes
any mistake in public she belittles them. A narcissistic mother
will be full of praise when you make her look good, hypercritical and judgmental
when you make her look bad, And the worst part is she
knows where it hurts and will often not consider
this before making comments at your expense.
If you have siblings, she’ll
pit you against each other to gain more control. The golden child is the
one she favors more. Solely because of how good you
make her look around others. If she sees you as the scapegoat, she’ll blame you for everything and even emotionally reject you because you make her look bad. Number two, she likes to keep control. Does she get angry when you disagree or don’t do what she wants you to do? That she tries to make you feel guilty for having separate interests, hobbies, desires, and opinions? Mothers who exhibit narcissistic traits like to have complete control over all aspects of
their children’s lives.
From friends to music,
to clothes and habits. Number three, she uses
manipulation to get what she wants. Does trying to assert yourself result in your mother and anger, rejection, and hostility? Manipulation is her game and
she will often play it well. She will use guilt trips through emotional blackmail
to make you and any siblings you may have, dance to her music. She doesn’t appreciate your
attempts to individual rate as it means you’re going
to be less available to serve her needs. Number four, her love is conditional rather than unconditional. As mentioned earlier, the narcissistic mother is interested in how you and your
achievements reflect on her.
However, on the flip side,
she may even become jealous. As a result, she may use love as a way
to reward and punish. Narcissistic mothers know
that the most powerful weapon over their children is their love, which is one of the reasons why children of narcissistic mothers will often be perfectionistic in a misguided attempt to
win their mother’s love. Number five, she often
diverts the conversation to focus on herself. Have you ever found yourself
trying to communicate an issue or a problem to your mother and feel like she’s just not listening? Do you feel unvalued
in your family dynamic? Narcissistic mothers will take control and change the direction of the conversation to
focus on themselves. Number six, she lacks empathy. Because they’re so super
focused on themselves, narcissistic mothers
are unable to sympathize with their children.
Likely, she’ll
not validate your feelings as there’s very little room
in her emotional consciousness for her to do so. Narcissists are self-centered and they feel the entire world
should revolve around them. If they do something that upsets you, narcissist won’t
acknowledge their mistakes or soothe you’re upset because they believe they can do no wrong.
Number seven, she’s unpredictable. Never quite know where you
stand with your mother? Narcissists, often wax and wane in terms of their
attention and availability. She may shower you with
affection and attention when she wants something from you and ignore you when she’s doing okay. This is also known as love bombing. Number eight, she carries grudges. Does your mother hold a grudge based on something that
happened days, months, or even years ago?
With narcissistic mothers, these tend to last for a long time with no sign of it being
forgiven or forgotten anytime soon. This is because narcissistic mothers are quick to develop a victim mentality. She’s wired to manipulate others, which includes guilt-tripping
you with your past mistakes to get what she wants. Number nine, she’s emotionally volatile. Another key tick box when it comes to looking at narcissism is being volatile. Mothers with these characteristics have very low self-esteem
underneath their bluster and will become teary,
desperate, and manipulative if they meet ongoing resistance. And number 10, she will
never want to let you go. Has your mother ever said
something like you can’t leave me or you need me? All parents know their kids will grow up and eventually leave the nest. However narcissistic mothers
may have a harder time letting go. Codependency in relationships is a trademark of people suffering from narcissistic personality disorder. So a narcissistic mother
may hold onto her child as long as possible, even into adulthood.
She will use every tactic in the book to make them feel dependent on her. Did you relate to any of these signs? Let us know in the comments below. Remember that narcissistic
traits can be symptoms of a personality disorder. However, that does not mean that everybody who exhibits
these signs is a narcissist or that they may have
a personality disorder. If you feel like your
mother may be a narcissist please ensure you talk
to somebody you trust as this can be a difficult
thing to deal with, not just for you, but for your mother and those around her as well. If you found this video helpful, please like and share it with
someone who might benefit from it too. Don’t forget to subscribe to Psych2Go and hit the notification
icon for more content.
Thanks so much for watching
and we’ll see you soon.
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